Every once and a while we meet a person who is beyond description...Inez Hart is one of those people. She's the the kind of peson who's personality fills up the room as soon as she enters.Her very presence commands respect. She carries herself like an African with great dignity, she dresses like an African in brightly patterned dresses complete with a head scarf, she even talks like an African but she is a white woman who grew up in Wisconsin. The Lord has called her to work among prostitues and has given her a vision to establish halfway houses for these ladies can be discipled and learn some type of skill. She has traveled the world for the last 30 years establishing these houses in countless countires around the world--Canada, the US, the Carribean, parts of Africa. In addition to a huge heart the Lord has given her the gift of evangelism; she's one of those people who can start presenting the gospel withing 2 minutes of initiating a conversation. It's amazing...
So how do I know this woman? We've recently crossed paths since I joined the HIV/AIDS education team a few weeks ago. This past Friday several of us girls from the ship linked up with Inez and one of the local ladies Ethel with the intention of hanging out with some of these ladies who work as prostitutes (or sex workers as they are called in Ghana). We arrived just as it was getting dark to a particular area of town where there are several clubs and that is known to be frequented by sailors who come ashore for beer and cheap pleasures. It was still a bit early so we walked the block checking out the area. The idea was to show up in the area where these ladies work and share the love of Jesus with them through sitting and talking with them, encouraging and affirming them as people created in the image of God, sharing the gospel with them and praying for them. Inez said these ladies want desperatly to be loved and most of them are on the street because they have no other way to earn a living. So Ethel and Inez, who have already started building relationships with many of the ladies, started calling them over to where we were sitting in one of the allies. The first girl I talked to was just a few years older than myself and from Liberia, her name is Princess. Trying to draw her into conversation was harder than pulling teeth. I was grasping for any way to connect with her but felt like I was failing miserably. After about 5 minutes of sparse conversation I asked her if I could pray with her...
By the time we left 2 hours later I was frustrated, angry and felt dead on the inside. Frustrated at the crowd of 20 or so men who had gathered around us making it impossible to talk to any more of the ladies after my brief conversation with Princess. I was Angry at the men who came to use these women as objects. Angry at God who sees these women's anguish and seemingly does nothing. Angry at the injustices in this world. Saddened by its brokeness. Angry at myself for being incapable for extending grace to the men who so quickly gathered around us. In my mind I was protesting, "Lord I didn't come to share the gospel with these men, I came to talk with these women who need to know that You love them. God these men aren't really interested in hearing the gospel they just want to talk to a bunch of young white women.I came for the woman Lord!" I guess what my heart was really saying was, "Lord these men don't deserve your grace!" I have been sitting in front of this computer screen for over an hour trying to find the words to articulate my thoughts. I am ashamed of the hardness of my own heart. Ashamed of my reaction to these men because it reflects a deeply rooted attitude of my heart that needs desperately to be redeemed. Somewhere in my heart I fool myself into believing that my own good behavior has earned God's favor and grace. Do I really understand so little about grace?? The night wasn't what I hoped it would be... I wish I could write a glowing story of how I gave hope to a lady battered by the sin of this world but instead I feel only a deep sadness at the destructive way sin has so successfully destroyed relationships (our right relationship with God, and right relationships with each other).
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2 comments:
Dearest Sister,
...so tough..why? So hard to not be so angry with the whole situtaion. I want to share something so encouraging and beautiful to help, but I struggle to find the words..I do know that God is sovereign and I do know that He was over your being there and was aware of everything that happened. We can take comfort in the fact that nothing is a surprise to Him and that He has a way of working in ways and in situations in which it seems there is no hope. He is hope, our hope, their hope. For this, even now, we can praise Him. Take heart.
P.S. I smiled when I read about Ethel!!!
~eliz
Nic,
Now you get a glimpse of what Christ saw hanging out with sinners, what others saw in Christ hanging out with sinners, what sinners saw in Christ, and what the righteous people also saw..and did not see. Our grieves are ways God's spirit moves within us, to do something. We tend to think of violence as something that comes from others, from the outside..when all of it, is from inside....oh the heart, one of the hardest places to look at, live with and in, and yet everything is immersed in it.
Keep looking.
~Nis
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